Teen Hates Teen Lit Writing Mom
Sorry teen
lit writers. I know you have imagined how
great your life will be when you become a famous author. You will be receiving praise from educators
for understanding all the inner-workings of teenage life. You will be speaking at a-list events with
your teen nodding in agreement with every amazing quip you make. Your kids will be in heaven hanging with Robert
Pattinson (or insert other favorite hottie).
Too bad
your teenager is going to think you suck. You writing about teen struggle and romance means
one of two things:
1. You have been secretly peeking through the
window at the goings on in the Kia Soul parked in your driveway and are using her as your writing inspiration. Not cool.
OR
2. You were once a flirty teen in a short skirt having
secret crushes and experiencing a growing list of first times, and you are your own writing inspiration. Ewww.
Here is
a glimpse into your future by way of my 100 word flash fiction submission over
on E. B. Pike's Writerlious Blog (btw, you had to use the word "Sunshine.")
Sunshine on my
shoulders makes me happy. Sunshine in my
eyes makes me seriously pissed off. If
this stupid photo shoot wasn't over soon, I was literally going to die. My cell had been off for like 20
minutes. A whole generation of gossip
will be dead and gone by the time I catch up.
Mom had totally screwed me over by getting all famous and stuff with her
teen lit book, URGENT KISSES. The only
thing that book made we want to do urgently was throw up. Making out was pretty much ruined forever.
The
good news is your teen's drama over her similarities with your book's seductive
siren will be great fodder for your next book, SLUTTIER THAN MY MOM. That one is going to be a best seller.
*Note - the author
does not mean to suggest all teen lit books are focused on steamy relationships. Just the great ones.*
Hey, we feed, clothe, protect, guide, and love our children without condition. The least they can do is serve as inspiration for our writing, yes?
ReplyDeleteI discovered your blog through Erin's flash fiction competition. Very glad I did. Your posts are a hoot. I am please to count myself as a new subscriber.
All the best,
Mike
www.mikeallegra.com
We love new subscribers! Thank you for joining.
DeleteI loved this, Lauri! My girls are 23 and 28 now, and actually very supportive (though I've only recently started blogging stories about them - we'll see how it goes over time!) Great piece of flash fiction, too.
ReplyDeleteThe twenties are cool because that is when you really start to like your mom as a person. Good luck!
DeleteHilarious! :) Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteYou gave me a real chuckle. I can just hear a teen saying those things.
ReplyDeleteFunny! And thank you for the link to the Writerlicous blog!
ReplyDeleteYou made the same mistake I made. It is "writerlious". Think litigious. Not writerlicious like fergie would say. I can't tell you how many times I searched for writerlicious!
DeleteToo funny! Thanks for the laugh, Lauri :)
ReplyDeleteWhen they get in their late 20's then they start to realize they are the age that you were when they first have memories of you...sound confusing. Yeah, living it is too. A bit of an echo chamber.
ReplyDelete