What Did You Do at Work Today?

"Hi, honey, how was your day?"

I used to answer, "I read 137 emails about nothing, nodded abstractly in a bunch of meetings, made a killer multi-colored spreadsheet, ate chicken fingers at my desk then tried to airspray the breading out of my keyboard,  ..."

Fast forward to today.   "Hey, babe, whad'ya do today?" 

I answer, "I studied the sounds downy woodpeckers make, which includes a "whinnying call" if you were wondering.   I practiced speaking squirrel: "kuk, kuk, chitter, tail flash!"  I laugh hysterically then remember my husband doesn't speak squirrel fluently and didn't get the punch line.  

"I crawled to the kitchen to make lunch, because I couldn't find the right words to describe an anteater hunting ants.  Then, I hocked a few loogies into the sink to try to create the sound a giant would make when he stepped on a pointed-hat-wearing elf.   Oh, frookberries!"

I was too far down the potty humor
path on this post to resist this pic.
(Goker Can Yilmaz via sxc.hu)

"What's wrong?"  he says.

"I was so busy, I didn't even get to my Google search for digestive sounds." My shoulders fall as I stir the taco meat on the stove. 

"Fart, stinker, poot, toot, burp," he says.  I stir faster and steal a glance at the kitchen table.  "Growling, rumble in my bung hole, bowel explosions."

"Let me grab some paper!" I yell.  I write furiously with my right hand and try to stir with my left (which is similar to rubbing your belly and patting your head at the same time.)

"Gastric gurgles, sphincter shutting, crackling acidic assault..."

"Who needs Google with you around!"  I smile serving my potty-vocabulary-expert-spouse some counter-clockwise stirred tacos.  "I hope these don't cause any bowel explosions tonight."

Writing is fabulous, but the "research" for children's books really makes the job worth it. 

What have you been researching lately?

P.S.  Thanks to Athena Hernandez for publishing this post in Aspiring Authors Daily!