All These Voices in my Head

Last summer I posted about my Mommy Multiple Personality Disorder and explained all 7 of my mom personalities including Giant Exploding Blueberry Monster (a bad mommy) and Rapping Mary Poppins (a good mommy.) 

Now I'm admitting I have a writing personality disorder too. Split-Voiceitosis. Yes, it's serious, but don't worry - I don't think it's too late for treatment.

It must have started in the fall, when I was striving for five polished picture book manuscripts (because Tara Lazar recommended that goal, and she's smart.) Finally, I had a solid stack of manuscripts, but then ah, snapadoodle! Each one was totally different. I don't mean the theme of the stories (of course they were different stories), but like written by seven writers with these distinct voices:

That's one messed up writer!
(Image by Lauri Meyers)

1.       Sweet, quiet, lullaby voice that cuddles in blankets and drinks hot chocolate. 

2.       Boy voice that throws boogers and makes mudpies which emit farting sounds.

3.       Pink, glitter-covered, boa-wearing princess voice forced upon me by Barbie-playing, princess-dressing, sequin-decorating little girls. Oh how they pry into my once tomboyish brain.

4.       Slapstick comedian voice with a lot of "nuk-nuk-nuks" and a banana peel on every corner.

5.       Psychedelic pink elephants on parade voice with imagination run wild where you have to actually read the book backwards to get the real meaning.  

6.       Dark, edgy voice which should be locked up tight, because she scares me and it's embarrassing for a grown woman to jump into bed at night so the creatures don't grab her ankles.

7.       Exhausted Mother voice which is my most me-voice. Unfortunately, when mother slips into a story with her morals, wagging fingers, and baby carrots she can ruin a perfectly good tale.

That's when I realized I had Split-Voiceitosis. I could elect the "Pick It and Stick It" treatment method by selecting one voice to take the lead. Or I could just let them all co-exist until one clearly becomes the dominant voice. I just hope Dark & Edgy doesn't win, because then I'll have to carry a flashlight at all times.  

Do you have competing voices? What would you do?