How to Break Up with a Manuscript
Hey there, My First Manuscript. [Casually punches manuscript in shoulder and smiles uneasily]
We need to talk.
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| I Love You Not (image by nubuck via sxc.hu) |
We've had this off again, on again relationship for a long time
now. You and I both know this isn't going to work out. I mean, I love your
humor and sweetness, but it's time we end this thing.
It's not you- it's me.
I will always adore your cute anthropomorphic characters, but you
know society frowns on them. I'm tired of having to cover up our secret.
But it's not you- it's me.
I've grown a lot in the last year. Sure, my word selection
and dialogue skills have improved, but I can't fix you. It's not fair to you. You
deserve someone who loves you for who you are. [Mumbles under breath] I doubt you'll actually find anyone who does, but you never know.
But again it's me, not you.
In fact it's my growing skills that are making me see you in a new
light. All your flaws- your flat characters, your sagging middle, your
anti-climatic climax- are so obvious now, and I just can't help but obsess over
them.
No, I didn't mean it like that. It's not you. It's just that I crave excitement, and you're a
tad boring. Not boring in a bad way, umm, boring in a quiet way.
Now, don't start preaching your "if we cooperate, we can
solve this problem together" moral. No one likes a didactic message shoved
down her throat- this is one of the reasons this is never going to work.
[Wraps arms around
manuscript] You'll always be my first love, and I'll never forget how much
we've learned together. I hope you'll remember that when I shove you into the bottom
of this drawer.
[Closes drawer silently]
I know I should delete you, shred you, but how could I be so cruel? Plus maybe
one night I'll be woozy from Sharpie fumes, and you'll be back in my arms
again.
--
Any other break ups out there? Oh, how did it go so wrong?
Totally, and mine will also stay in a drawer, and never be shredded or deleted. Sometimes old flings come back. Ya know ?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is maturing in that drawer and you'll be ready for each other again in the future.
DeleteOn lonely nights I still reach for that drawer.
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
It's okay to snuggle with that manuscript sometimes, right? As long as it understands you're going to go back to your new story in the morning.
DeleteGreat letter! My first manuscript stays locked up tight in a drawer. Sometimes, though, I find that I can use bits and pieces of old works to make new stories.
ReplyDeleteOoh, you have a drawer full of cadavers, Miss Frankenstein? :) I do that too - a little from here and a little from there - because there was some really good stuff in that story, it just didn't work where it was.
DeleteOh Lauri ..pat pat..you'll get over it. Time to break open the champagne now you've got the first difficult step out of the way! The drawer is a good idea, you never know, right. (Anthropomorphic characters -- sounds just like my cup of tea I have to say).
ReplyDeleteI just wish I could have been better to the poor fellow and tried harder to save things. Only time will tell if we were indeed meant to be together!
DeleteDon't be surprised if Manuscript comes knocking at your door asking for a second chance and promising to be better. The question then is do you follow your heart or your mind? Da-da-da-dum....
ReplyDelete"This time it will be different. My story arc is soooo much stronger than it was before!"
DeleteFunny stuff, Lauri! You never forget your first...
ReplyDeleteNaive fingers fumbling around, trying to decide whether to use italics or quotations...words going on and on even though the story has clearly ended because no one wants to be the first to hang up...Ahh young love!
DeleteAnd now comes Chapter Two: Manuscript Stalking.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that!
How did you know? I just saw paper eyes peeking out of the drawer! I'm going to have to get a lock...
DeleteUgh. Guilty of anthropomorphic and rhyming. (Bangs head on desk)
ReplyDeleteNo lost love there for me!
Hey, it works sometimes! It just takes a lot of commitment and time to get it right. Love is hard work.
DeleteFunny post, thanks for the laugh. Yes I do love my first story about an anthropomorphic bird with a non-traditional plot line will have to go to rest for the time being anyway. Its too hard to shred and start over with it. At least for now.
ReplyDeleteI'm terribly curious about this non-traditional plot line. Was it a dopey bird who doesn't have a place to live and there's a subplot of a little girl building a birdhouse and the bird never learns how to build a nest, but finds a home anyway thereby experiencing no change? And on the last page he realizes he's hungry, but no one is around to help and the reader knows this is not going to end well for the bird. Ooh, that's dark and I like it.
DeleteI have one manuscript right now that I have a small, nagging feeling might need a talk like this one...lol...
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Donna L Martin
www.donnalmartin.com
If you think it will help, take it to a fancy restaurant so when you break the news it won't cry apostrophes everywhere :(
DeleteI broke up with my first novel last summer. I finally realized that because I didn't know what I was doing when I started writing it, the bones were all wrong. No matter how I dressed it up, it was still going to be all awkward and funny looking.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even have the talk with it first. I just stopped calling. No calls. No texts. When I ran into it in public, I pretended I had something caught in my eye.
Oh, and the poor dear was too awkward to even try to text you. It probably is at the drugstore buying you some Visine for the next time it sees you. I can learn from your toughness, because letting go of one relationship has really freed you up to finish your latest ms!
Delete