Sulky Spider's Spooky Webs

Susanna Hill is hosting her annual Halloweensie Contest. The rules are to write a Halloween story in 100 words or less including the words pumpkin, creak, and broomstick.

After having a good poem at 111 words, I cut it down to 109. Then I thesaurused (that's a word right?) a few more changes to get to 105. Then I stomped around and pulled my hair out and threw myself on the bed and cried, "Why? Why only 100 words?" I rubbed some fake spiderweb for inspiration and finally got to 100 exactly.

Sulky Spider's Spooky Webs
By Lauri Meyers

Sulky Spider planned a scheme
For making trick or treaters scream.

Spider silk began to spin
A Jack 'o Web with wicked grin.
"Pretty pumpkin," cowgirls said.
"Pretty?" Sulky hung her head.

"A webby ghost will do the trick!"
She spun a spooky ghoul up quick.
Pirates shouted, "Ghosts are neat!"
She gobbled up her web. "Defeat."
   
Spinnerets began to twitch.
"A warty-broomstick-riding-witch!"
A princess cooed, "That witch is sweet."
She stomped all eight offended feet.

"I need a buggy snack," she frowned. 
Sticky thread went round and round.
She didn't hear the stairway creak.

"A spiderweb!" they hollered, "Eek!"


I'd like to thank the Orb Spider (I think that's the right identification) who has been living in my shed for weeks for the inspiration. This spider moved her gigantic web every other day so we had to approach cautiously not knowing where it could be now. My husband suggested (gasp!) killing the spider. But this spider was working hard to deal with the bugs in our shed, and I classified her as "too big to squish" anyhow. Yeah, bigger than a quarter = too much spider guts. 

Make sure to check out all the other great entries for the Halloweensie contest too!

 Update: Sulky Spider's Spooky Webs won THIRD PLACE, and I won a critique from Alayne Christian!


Comments

  1. Cheryl SecombOctober 27, 2014 at 12:21 PM

    This is wonderful, Lauri! I love it. So cute. Great job. :-)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 12:28 PM

      Thanks Cheryl! I wasn't feeling very "cute" when I was looking at a million spider pictures trying to identify mine. *shudders*

      Delete
  2. AnonymousOctober 27, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    "Yeah, bigger than a quarter = too much spider guts." Ha! I know what you mean. Squishing a spider that big is scarier than not knowing where it is!
    I love your entry! All spider needed to do was be herself!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 12:29 PM

      That's the trick isn't it, just being yourself! Now replace Sulky with a writer trying to write nonfiction but it's not working, then trying to write YA but it's not working, until finally she just writes what feels right.

      Delete
  3. Susan HalkoOctober 27, 2014 at 1:20 PM

    This is so cute. I loved "She stomped all eight offended feet." : )

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 1:34 PM

      Thanks! "offended" was a real score to get the meter right. It only took about 20 attempts:)

      Delete
  4. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 1:33 PM

    (I managed to delete Cathy's comment-Sorry Cathy-but here it is)
    Cathy Ballou Mealey

    Love it Laurie!

    Arachna-perfection!

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  5. JohnellOctober 27, 2014 at 2:34 PM

    Fantastic. Really fun story. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 3:45 PM

    Agh, now I've deleted one of Miss Marple's Musings! I'm incapable of moderating comments today:(

    Joanna has left a new comment on your post "Sulky Spider's Spooky Webs":

    This my favorite stanza -
    Spinnerets began to twitch.
    "A warty-broomstick-riding-witch!"

    Love the POV!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 3:46 PM

      Thanks Joanna! I just had to find a way to work in "spinnerets!"

      Delete
  7. WendyOctober 27, 2014 at 4:19 PM

    I had to clean a spider web out of the mailbox today and I am definitely in the Eek camp! (I didn't stop to look for clever patterns like Sulky spun)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 5:19 PM

      Aww, poor spider just wanted to receive mail for her first time. That or scare the mail right out of the mail carrier's pouch!

      Delete
  8. clarbojahnOctober 27, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    Orb spider which is bigger than a quarter? That is a big one!! I was gonna say something else but it wouldn't be good around the kiddies. Still, wow!!

    Great poem story. The Ryhme and rhythm is perfect. A much better one than one I did. terrific job! :)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 5:21 PM

      Yes, gigantic. I really gave her a lot of space. She was always right in the middle of the web. Once or twice I wiggled her web with a shovel or pot, but she didn't even flinch. Which was smart, because crawling towards me suddenly does up my squish parameters!

      Delete
  9. AnonymousOctober 27, 2014 at 6:52 PM

    If I had three hands, I'd give you three thumbs up! Definitely prize worthy! Have a Happy Halloween!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 7:29 PM

      Thank you Donna! (though I can't get the image of the three thumbs up out of my hand. the start of an alien story perhaps? :) )

      Delete
  10. janet smartOctober 27, 2014 at 7:17 PM

    EEK! I hate spiders, but loved your story. I had a time getting my story down to 100 words, too.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 7:30 PM

      Man, was getting to 100 words a real stinker this time! But it's good editing practice because it probably is better at 100.

      Delete
  11. catherinemjohnson.comOctober 27, 2014 at 7:18 PM

    Brilliant story, Laurie and yikes to that spider!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 27, 2014 at 7:31 PM

      Thanks Catherine! A keep getting the chills everytime I look at her picture. yechh!

      Delete
  12. Robyn CampbellOctober 27, 2014 at 9:09 PM

    I love spiders. Well, I don't LOVE them. But I love watching them spin. Such a great science lesson for homeschool. Cute story. I love the rhyme. Great job.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 28, 2014 at 7:38 AM

      Thank you! I agree even though they creep me out, I can't resist ogling their gorgeous webs. I'm always amazed by their tenacity too.

      Delete
  13. Susanna Leonard HillOctober 27, 2014 at 10:08 PM

    Fabulous, Lauri! So well done! A plot, character development, a clever ending, all in 100 hard-fought-for words! (And I know exactly how you feel - I had a sample that was much better above 100 words and didn't fare as well as yours in the cutting - nicely done!) Thanks so much for joining in the Halloweensie shenanigans with your sulky spider :)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 28, 2014 at 7:39 AM

      Thank you! Yes, it was quite the wrestling match to get those last few words out, but it all worked out in the end. I appreciate you giving us these opportunities to really push and push the editing.

      Delete
  14. CA ClarkOctober 28, 2014 at 3:35 AM

    fabulous. I do love a determined spider.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 28, 2014 at 7:40 AM

      Thank you. I guess if I needed to build a web to eat I would be determined too! Funny enough Charlotte's Web was on last night, and I really got to experience the power of the spider again.

      Delete
  15. Carrie FinisonOctober 28, 2014 at 9:33 AM

    I don't know what the 109 word version was like, but I think the 100 word version is perfect. Very well done, Lauri! I love your character.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 28, 2014 at 11:31 AM

      Tighter is better! It really forced me to target little weak words or weak verb combinations and replace a few words with one stronger word (while not losing the meter or story - ugh!)

      Delete
  16. Cathy C. HallOctober 28, 2014 at 4:29 PM

    Oh, very thesaurus-y (and amazing wordplay!) :-)

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  17. Romelle BroasOctober 28, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    That was a lot of fun to read, Lauri! Love Sulky's webs. Cute....err, I mean scary! Don't want those eight offended feet stomping. :)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 28, 2014 at 7:33 PM

      It's kind of funny because a spider stomping would still be super quiet. Poor thing has no good way to express her emotions:)

      Delete
  18. DonnaLouiseOctober 28, 2014 at 6:27 PM

    Love it! "Keep it simple stupid" seems to be the key...even with spiders. Great job, Lauri. (Somehow struggling on a piece is really the fun part, even though we complain about it. *wink*)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 28, 2014 at 7:37 PM

      You're right. Even though editing stinks, coming out the other end is very satisfying.
      Keep it simple is a good theme. Don't try to be something you're not, just do what you can do the best you can. Man I never know what my stories are about until someone tells me!

      Delete
  19. UnknownOctober 28, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    I loved the funny tries of the spider! So innovative idea :) Wonderful twist in EVERY stanza (? that the right word ?) Hillarious how the spider is deflated after each attempt.

    "A warty-broomstick-riding-witch!"

    Love that!!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 29, 2014 at 12:17 PM

      I'm sure not every witch has warts, but making all those potions can't be good for the skin.

      Delete
  20. LindaOctober 29, 2014 at 10:23 AM

    Delightful, wonderful rhymes, adorable main character!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 29, 2014 at 12:18 PM

      Thank you. When was the last time you called a spider adorable? :)

      Delete
  21. Kathy HalseyOctober 29, 2014 at 12:45 PM

    REALLY SUPER IDEA. I love the build-up and how by just being hhimself Sulky Spider gets his wish - to scare th skids.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 29, 2014 at 1:39 PM

      Thank you Kathy! Sometimes you just have to be yourself:)

      Delete
  22. Carol VarsalonaOctober 29, 2014 at 1:04 PM

    Lauri, I love the build up to your ending. Being inspired by a real spider-how intriguing. My spider webs are trying to latch on to my decorative wreath-not a pretty sight to off they go. I am glad that we connected.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 29, 2014 at 1:40 PM

      So nice to connect with you too. I have these large ghosts hanging outside made out of a fine netting material. I noticed a bunch of spiders on them yesterday. Lazy spiders! Just acting like they wove that web...

      Delete
  23. Buffy SilvermanOctober 29, 2014 at 2:20 PM

    Terrific ending, Lauri--glad Sulky embraced her inner spiderness.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 11:59 AM

      I guess sometime's your belly can lead you to the best you:)

      Delete
  24. Patricia T.October 29, 2014 at 3:42 PM

    Love that a real spider prompted your imagination to create this gem! Clever.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 12:03 PM

      I think it was a combination of seeing the spider's latest creation in the shed and then raking for awhile. That raking is a good mind-numbing way to get ideas!

      Delete
  25. DarshanaOctober 29, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    I love it! You are so funny. Great job with the rhyme. I think you have a keeper with this one! Would love to see this as a full-blown PB.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 12:00 PM

      Thank you for the challenge! I'd have to dig for some more emotional depth to amp it up.

      Delete
  26. AnonymousOctober 30, 2014 at 9:30 AM

    I really enjoyed your story, I could picture all of the webs designs. I especially loved the ending!!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 1:04 PM

      Thank you Jean. It's fun to make little kids scream EEK!

      Delete
  27. AnonymousOctober 30, 2014 at 9:31 AM

    I really loved your story, I could picture all those web designs, the ending was fantastic!!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 12:01 PM

      Wonderful - My hope is always to give the reader a visual experience.

      Delete
  28. AnonymousOctober 30, 2014 at 12:52 PM

    Nicely worked story in that poem - well done!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 12:57 PM

      Thank you - I love that Susanna makes us work to prove stories can e told in so few words. Well, I love it when it's done...kind of hate it while I'm editing:)

      Delete
  29. Sylvia LiuOctober 30, 2014 at 1:54 PM

    How fun - love this one.

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  30. Christie AllredOctober 30, 2014 at 5:16 PM

    Oh, I love this one. :) Especially the eight offended feet and the unexpected success in the end.

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 30, 2014 at 7:37 PM

      Thanks Christie- getting those eight feet incorporated was a meter challenge:)

      Delete
  31. AnonymousOctober 30, 2014 at 8:45 PM

    I loved the spider theme, I could picture all the beautiful web art, I especially loved the ending!

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 31, 2014 at 4:03 PM

      I'm sure everyone draws a ghost in the web a little bit differently in their mind.

      Delete
  32. UnknownOctober 30, 2014 at 9:13 PM

    Great spidery spin. Love the rhyme.

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  33. Dianne BurchOctober 30, 2014 at 11:19 PM

    Lauri, this is wonderful! Happy Halloween-sie!

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  34. Carrie Charley BrownOctober 30, 2014 at 11:20 PM

    I love all eight of this spider's offended feet. :) Super fun and great rhyme!

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  35. Vivian KirkfieldOctober 31, 2014 at 4:15 PM

    WOW! Lauri...this is GREAT! You did a stellar job in just 100 words...love the whole concept and especially the ending. :)

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 31, 2014 at 8:51 PM

      Thank you Vivian! Those were hard fought for 100 words:)

      Delete
  36. Diane TullochOctober 31, 2014 at 8:23 PM

    Eeeeeek! And you still have that spider? *facepalm* Great story, but I'm outta here! lol

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    1. Lauri MeyersOctober 31, 2014 at 8:52 PM

      Funny, I just opened the shed door today, and I think the darn thing built a web in front of the door. I didn't see it but I felt webby thingies fall down. EEK!

      Delete
  37. UnknownOctober 31, 2014 at 9:35 PM

    Lauri this is great! I love the way the spider tries her hardest and how you show her frustration when she fails to achieve her goal.

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    1. Lauri MeyersNovember 1, 2014 at 7:29 AM

      That work on "show don't tell" is an ongoing journey! Thank you.

      Delete
  38. AnonymousNovember 3, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    I LOVE your story! It is really well done! :D

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  39. Mike AllegraNovember 3, 2014 at 8:44 AM

    Told you your story was something special!

    Let's make this contest finalist thing a habit, OK? ;)

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    1. Lauri MeyersNovember 4, 2014 at 8:18 AM

      I hope so, right?? I really just want to get in a "contracts landed" contest with you!

      Delete
  40. AnonymousNovember 6, 2014 at 2:06 PM

    Spinnerets. Love it! The whole sticky thing sparkles! Congrats! I think you should get extra points for tearing through a thesaurus till you trap the truest term. :D

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    1. Lauri MeyersNovember 8, 2014 at 3:52 PM

      Thanks Jilanne! My thesaurus is a little worse for the wear after the work to find the right word.

      Delete

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